Jumping ship. Tuesday, May 4 2010 

Here.

To be honest, WordPress seems like too much work. Every now and then I’ll want to say something, or share a video, or just get something out on the screen, and with WordPress it often feels like too much pressure to try and get a whole post out when I just don’t feel like I have the creativity to push it out.

So off to Tumblr I go.

Leaving this up in case I ever feel like coming back, though.

Game over Tuesday, Jan 19 2010 

This is a bit of a long-winded post for what was essentially a summer job cut short, but gimme a break – two milestones in one; not only first job ever, but also first getting-asked-to-leave ever!

When everyone was getting transferred out of the MGSM program while I was still stuck in the endless tedium of calling people who would rather give to real charities than a graduate school, espescially because I was the particularly useless one, I got kinda worried.

When I walked into the office and they didn’t even bother giving back my data and gave me somebody else’s instead I knew something was up.

When my team leader asked me to tally up a half hour in advance and then ushered me quietly into a side room for a “talk”, I was like, “LOL BAI GAIZ”.

I feel like I should probably be disappointed or sad or something but everyone at work was really nice and funny and it’s not even as if they just dumped me out on my ass on the pavement – I got escorted outand everything, yo! Probably to make sure I didn’t steal credit card info out of spite from having just been technically fired, but I digress.

I bet you anything though that if they hadn’t put me on the two hardest programs consecutively (you trying to tell me elderly retirees are REALLY going to want to sponsor another child for an additional $50, and CEOs with MBAs under their belt are going to want to commit to regular giving over the phone with no prior research? LULZ) I would’ve actually done kinda okay, and I probably would’ve hit my goal of lasting till uni and saving $1000.

But that’s okay. I turned up to that first interview happy that I’d even managed to secure an interview. (Not even the Mexican place at Liverpool gave me one, you know.) The fact that that interview turned into a job at possibly the least screwed up call centre you could ever find was just icing on the cake, and I mean, I hadn’t even expected to keep it longer than a week let alone a whole month. My first aim had been primarily to see what the formal workplace was like, and I think I achieved that – with a tidy profit at that.

The way I see it, I just finished paid work experience. (Which would technically be an internship but that sounds a bit fancy for the situation I was in.)

I think more than anything I’m kind of looking forward to what I can do the rest of the holidays – I did have goals for my summer break (overcome the “post-traumatic stress” of last January’s near-concussion on my bike, practice Japanese, play video games because I never have time during regular school days) and now I actually have the opportunity to do them. I hadn’t been happy for a while; probably when they put me on MGSM and effectively sucked any self satisfaction I could get out of my job.

As well as that, now I have experience under my belt, and I know how to operate in a workplace. Granted a call centre is probably leaps and bounds different from retail or fast food, but it’s still something to put on my resume even if I can’t supply a reference because I was “asked to leave, as opposed to leaving for private reasons”.

The only sad part is now I have no money. But you know, I got by without it before. I don’t think it’ll be any different now.

What I listened to this year Tuesday, Dec 29 2009 

At one point in my life, I probably thought I was pretty crash-hot when it came to music. I thought that I knew a lot about music, that I was passionate about music, that my extensive (and let’s face it, pretty wasteful) music collection was some kind of sign that I Knew What I Was Talking About. Somewhere between then and now two things occurred to me; the first, that I should probably stop taking myself so seriously, and two, that perhaps my recurring gravitation towards pop of the trashy kind was a sign that maybe my music taste wasn’t as awesome as I thought it was.

That said, I still do love music a lot. The only thing that’s changed is that now I don’t play bizarre justification games with myself to explain why I might kind of enjoy Britney Spears’ 3 sometimes.

This is all really just a leadup to a list of my favourite songs of the past year. I was going to write artsy fartsy, Pitchfork-esque summaries but halfway through the second one I realised that it contradicted the whole anti-pretentious theme of my intro. Also I really can’t be bothered.

(more…)

Mario Wednesday, Nov 25 2009 

As a little update to my last post, I turned up for work on Monday only to be told that the data for WWF doesn’t actually come in until next week, thus freeing me up until next Tuesday. Most people would use this time to study for exams. I had alternate plans.


Yes, that’s right. I played old-school Super Nintendo. Don’t judge me.

The sad part is that I think my reflexes have gone backwards, as the same levels I had no problem with as a child have no become substantially harder. The main difference is that instead of my frustration manifesting in a barely self-restrained attempt at chucking the controller at the TV, I resort to mentally cursing the system.

My Super Mario World cartridge wasn’t working earlier. I found myself blowing on it out of reflex.

YES I WILL START STUDYING SOON

When you don’t properly think out life decisions Sunday, Nov 22 2009 

So, remember how I have a job?

I also have exams. Specifically one on Wednesday for a class during which I was usually asleep, or not there.

Which means I only have two full days (Sunday, and half of the Monday and Tuesday respectively) to study for it.

Uh.

Success Tuesday, Nov 17 2009 

I suppose good things come in spades, because today was the same day I had my first ever job interview and snagged my first ever job.

The interview wasn’t actually as hard as I thought it would be; in fact, it consisted of a bunch of pretty simple tasks – introduce yourself, group debate, one-on-one interrogation, simulated job situation, pretty easy stuff. The difficult part was trying to do all of this in a relaxed, composed, and efficient manner, which was kind of hard when your hands are shaking from the nerves.

But I guess I must have impressed someone, because I got offered the job. Woo!

I must admit, I always get a bit taken aback when people say I am above average at things. I mean, I know I’m sort of funny, I’m more or less easy to get along with, and I’m polite when I need to; but whenever people say I’m really adept at any of those things, it feels a little odd. Keeping that in mind, you can imagine how strange it was trying to talk yourself up.

I also found that people take you exponentially more serious when you’re dressed all business-like; a man in the elevator thought I worked on the top floor. Hee.

Oshtrayan Wednesday, Nov 4 2009 

Recently, I have decided to attempt to learn how to speak with an Australian accent. Now, I know what you are all thinking; if you have ever spoken to me in real life you would know that I have the most bizarre speaking voice in the world which is odd and strange and instantly recognisable and is basically synonymous with my name. It’s this weird Filipino-American mix that makes me sounds stilted and nasal and all sorts of out-of-place things. I don’t even know why I have it, seeing as I was born and grew up here. Maybe it has something to do with my parents actually knowing out to speak English. I don’t know.

When I announced this during lunch at uni once, the general reaction was that of dismay and discouragement. “Why are you trying to do that? You sound fine. That’s a stupid idea.”

But bear with me. I have my reasons.

These include; silly carried-over insecurity from the junior years of high school when boarder-generated anti-American sentiment was at its highest, a perception that people would hang up on me less often if I worked at a call centre which ended up being a stupid reason because I was unceremoniously rejected before I even got to the interview stage, not wanting to be mistaken for an international student again, a desire to say “bogan” and “bloody” with the right accent because let’s face it, they just don’t sound right when I say them, and most importantly, boredom.

As a result I have been repeating everything everyone says, ever. Apparently, this is very offputting.

I also sit around repeating various text that I see around me. Apparently, this makes me look psycho.

I think the worst part is that I’m not even getting close to sounding anywhere close to the accent I want. Most of the time people can’t even tell that I’m trying.

Addendum Tuesday, Nov 3 2009 

On a side note, am I the only one that thinks debate for the most part is pointless? If neither party are willing to back down or consider the other point of view, as the case is usually, all you’ve got is two people yelling at each other; essentially a circle jerk about how much you know.

Nine times out of ten I’ll just back out of opinionated discussions unless I happen to be really passionate about whatever the subject is (read; music, assholes, general lack of tolerance and compassion for other humans) – there’s really no point in mindlessly arguing over a stalemate, and I’d rather save myself the stress, thanks.

Career? Tuesday, Nov 3 2009 

I thought I was pretty sure what I wanted to do in the future. “I want to help people,” I said, “I want to make the world get along better,” and I thought I could do that with politics or working with an NGO or something.

But there’s two things standing in my way.

The first is my crippling laziness, which consequently results in me never getting anything done, ever. The irony is that laziness itself it what keeps me from doing anything about my laziness.

The second is the pathetic amount I know about current affairs. For all my ambition and aims, I actually know seemingly know next to nothing about politics, or relations, or what the hell is actually going on in this world. Even when I sit around and read the newspaper or actually study from my politics textbook, it doesn’t seem anywhere close to what other people – people in my tute, people in my class, hell, complete randoms on the Internet WHO ARE MY AGE AND CAN SPIT OUT PARAGRAPH AFTER PARAGRAPH OF POLITICS OPINION COMPLETE WITH HEAVY JARGON – know.

I wonder if this makes my opinion somehow less valid, if this makes me “stupid”, and unsuitable for any job other than the inevitable language teaching / interpreting that comes about as a sort of booby prize for having taken International Studies? I don’t even know what to think anymore, whether to be disappointed in myself, or envious of others knowledge, or perhaps assume that no-one actually knows anything and are really just talking out of their ass and thus resent them?

It’s okay to be (sorta) angsty (at least by my standards) on here ’cause no-one reads this anyway unless you’re weird and put me on RSS feed (yes, that’s right, I’m talking to you).

Concerning excessive spending Saturday, Oct 31 2009 

I have a problem.

It’s no secret that, contrary to what many in my age bracket would do, I purchase music CDs. That in itself, however, is not the problem.

The problem is that I think I have become addicted to buying CDs, obsessive-compulsively buying albums just because they are on sale, or on my “to-buy” list, or because I am collecting all of a certain artist, or because JB Hi-Fi’s slapped a sticker reading “Buy Me Now!” on the front, and really, who can resist a fluorescent pink sticker? This problem is further compounded by the fact that I am completely financially dependent on my family, and use much of their money to fund my addiction, savings be damned.

I think the worst part is that it is getting to the point where I have too much music, so much music that I am finding it hard to keep up with myself. Out of every five CDs, maybe two or three will really manage to strike a chord with me, and even then I only really have a week or two to let it sink in before something new comes out and my attention is diverted and I have more dead space in my room.

Admittedly, the situation is not as bad as when I was in high school and would buy CDs for no reason at all other than to buy and consequently ended up with a collection that was half stuff too crap even for my admittedly lax standards. Nevertheless, something must be done.

And that something is this.

I have three CDs in the mail that haven’t got here yet. Plus I was planning to buy something with a gift card sometime in late-November. These are factors that either cannot be changed, or do not adversely affect the status of my bank account.

Thus, I declare here, at 2.35am on October 31st, 2009, that I, Timothy Sun, will endevour to restrict my CD buying as of December 2009. I will buy only two (2) discs worth of music every month, whether that be an album or a compilation or one of those fancy little EPs they only ever seem to market in South Korea. This is a promise to myself, and one that I am forcing myself to keep.

Hopefully by doing this I can save money, and also improve the quality of my purchases, since I’ll have to carefully plan out what to buy and make sure that what I’m buying is actually good. And if I break this pact, I’ll find some way to punish myself. Probably make myself take my CD collection to the second-hand shop and sell off half of it again. Or something.

And finally, in case I have not repeated it enough times on this blog; I really need a job. Like whoa.

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